4.30.2008

terrible awful restaurant time

oh no! this terrible employee of a local restaurant chain left bathroom and forgot to wash hands before returning to work!

she serving plate of buffalo chick and wings to tourist man and woman and woman's masculine woman friend with short choppy haircut and someone else's little baby and they all look at her hand and say "oh no! you not do that! you forget washing time in bathroom! look at that hand! we sick now! no chick wings for us, we will soon be throwing up! you have make us sick!"

employee say sorry, and run to bathroom and clean off hand of terrible stuff, but when she return family has left. still, they leave tip of $1.79.

4.26.2008

falling man make poops!

look close at tiny man on sign! look at him! he is so scared about falling from cliff that he let loose his bowl control and make poops as he fall! not only is man falling from top of cliff but his poops are too. falling and pooping man get only broken leg or hurt toe, but people walking below him get his poops on their heads!! they are yelling "ahhh! falling poops!" and "oh no! poops in my hair!" and "where did these poops come from!!??" poor poophead people below! bye-bye falling pooper!

4.25.2008

zhuzh girl kick non-zhuzh ass!


one of these japanese girls is so zhuzh and other three are way not zhuzh. (another one think she might be zhuzh but couldn't be wronger! one is taking baby-nap, and one might be drunk!) girl who is zhuzh know it. can you see zhuzh in her eyes? she kick other japanese girl's non-zhuzh ass and make them beg for more. she is mayoress of zhuzhtown, japan. (big secret is: zhuzh girl actually 25 year-old boy but very, very tiny! go japanese dwarf boy! go zhuzh!!)

4.22.2008

awful painful sore man

this man is point to spot on face where inside of his mouth he has terrible awful painful canker sore. "right inside of hear" he say.

man doesn't remember if he poke inside of mouth with toothbrush, or if he bite inside of cheek when chewing on spicy slim jim, or what. but he say that now, if he eat anything salty, like more slim jim, or processed cheese spread like his favorite cheez whiz, or pickled eggs, or smoked fish and kippers, his canker sting and throb and hurt like terrible painful amount. "it hurt so much to me" he say. we hate canker! we put fingers in X to canker!

4.20.2008

stinky and wife get dressed up, make stinky together, and dream about future


remember stinky and his pretty wife? they get dressed up and make loudish unison stinky sound (wife a little louder) and all while they are dreaming about happy stinky future. see them look to the future? can you almost smell the stinky? ohhh! stinky-man! stinky-wife!

4.19.2008

gay homosexual enjoy kissing woman!

this gay homosexual tried kissing woman and liked it!

he have too many drinks at party, and woman say you just not find the right one! try kissing me! i'm changing you!

so gay homosexual man, who is drunk, try kissing woman. and after kiss, he say hey! it not as bad as i thought it would! i'd still rather have a hammond rye sandwich with mustard, but it not so bad.

woman is now buying wedding dress, but man go home to sleep in bed.

4.18.2008

woman lost looking for broadway show


this poor woman is so lost you wouldn't believe! she looking for a phantom of the operas show, or the miserable show, or maybe the one with the witches.

but she is not gonna find them. poor woman. go the other way you woman!

4.17.2008

hairy man want salve rub

this man has one of the hairiest backs of any alive human in new jersey, united states. he recently got a terrible painful sunburn in florida and now he would like you rub salve all over his hairy back.

please, he say? won't you help me? i say, say no and run away fast like speeding train! hairy back is bad! hairy scary!

husband make stinky, wife look unhappy

the man in this picture has just made terrible nasty stinky in pants. as you can see, his sweet and pretty wife look very unhappy about it. but secret is, wife just made a terrible stinky herself! hooray wife!

4.15.2008

the faux hawk is officially dead

the editor of zhuzh it up! have come to conclusions that the faux hawk is dead and it is officially. so stop it. stop it now!