i not mrs. obama!

this woman in mississippi, united states say she so tired! tired of you!

no, really she tired of telling people that she is not the mrs. obama! woman say that everywhere she go – beauty parlor, wal-mart, fish fry – people come up to her and say "you husband gonna be next president of country" and she say "oh no, not my husband."

this woman say she not even vote for the obama she vote for hillary woman because hillary woman just as tired as she is. "i saw her cry in new hampshire, and i know the bosnia sniper shoot at her because she tired. i'm tired too, so she know how i feel."

she say now she will do what hillary woman tell her and vote for the obama.

big secret! shhh! we think this woman should tell friends and neighbors she is secret daughter from old man mccain, just like the bush did. then old man never get erect and the obama get in! yay for the obama and boo for old person mccain!

man squeezes salami too hard!

this man show how his left hand has curled up tight and stop working because he use it way too much in same position!

he don't know what to do now because he is lefty-only and he cannot do much with his left hand now. he say "i keep my hand wrapped around salami far too often and squeeze way too hard and now it will not open up!" (hand, not salami.)

we look at man's hand and think that seem like awfully small salami! we don't know any salami that small, except maybe the slim jim. maybe man is squeezing slim jim to hard, or to many times a day. nine out of ten doctor use to say squeezing slim jim too much make you see fuzzy. salami man have on glasses, and now hand curled up! oh no! maybe doctor right!!

salami man hoping some nice person come by soon and untie his silly kerchief on head because with curled up salami hand he cannot do! silly kerchief! poor salami man!

is your husband happy for other husbands?

ladiz, biggest clue for you to tell if your husband is a homosexual person is answer to this question: how zhuzh is your husband? if answer is this one -- very zhuzh -- then you in trouble lady.

because not many non-homosexual husbands are so zhuzh. look at this example. this husband happy to be zhuzh in his own way. he is fancy zhuzh. some husbands are rustic zhuzh or broadway zhuzh. some are even this is my best man friend and we go drink beers together zhuzh but they drink enough beers and it all over. we think those ladiz should be asking some questions. okay now ladiz?

most zhuzh baby!!

this baby set new trend! he most zhuzh baby boy in all of lansing, michigan. he zhuzh because he dress good (see how necktie matching slacks + green frog on shoes) he have zhuzh attitude (which is not i am over you, just i am zhuzh and you maybe no) and he have personal massage man who walk behind him always, giving him rub.

but most zhuzh about boy is his burse (his baby-purse.) he set new zhuzh trend and now all babys will have burse. in his burse he keep his diaper salve, his baby blackberry and his ritalin candy too! zuzh baby got a zhuzh burse! get one for your baby!

terrible awful restaurant time

oh no! this terrible employee of a local restaurant chain left bathroom and forgot to wash hands before returning to work!

she serving plate of buffalo chick and wings to tourist man and woman and woman's masculine woman friend with short choppy haircut and someone else's little baby and they all look at her hand and say "oh no! you not do that! you forget washing time in bathroom! look at that hand! we sick now! no chick wings for us, we will soon be throwing up! you have make us sick!"

employee say sorry, and run to bathroom and clean off hand of terrible stuff, but when she return family has left. still, they leave tip of $1.79.

falling man make poops!

look close at tiny man on sign! look at him! he is so scared about falling from cliff that he let loose his bowl control and make poops as he fall! not only is man falling from top of cliff but his poops are too. falling and pooping man get only broken leg or hurt toe, but people walking below him get his poops on their heads!! they are yelling "ahhh! falling poops!" and "oh no! poops in my hair!" and "where did these poops come from!!??" poor poophead people below! bye-bye falling pooper!

zhuzh girl kick non-zhuzh ass!

one of these japanese girls is so zhuzh and other three are way not zhuzh. (another one think she might be zhuzh but couldn't be wronger! one is taking baby-nap, and one might be drunk!) girl who is zhuzh know it. can you see zhuzh in her eyes? she kick other japanese girl's non-zhuzh ass and make them beg for more. she is mayoress of zhuzhtown, japan. (big secret is: zhuzh girl actually 25 year-old boy but very, very tiny! go japanese dwarf boy! go zhuzh!!)

awful painful sore man

this man is point to spot on face where inside of his mouth he has terrible awful painful canker sore. "right inside of hear" he say.

man doesn't remember if he poke inside of mouth with toothbrush, or if he bite inside of cheek when chewing on spicy slim jim, or what. but he say that now, if he eat anything salty, like more slim jim, or processed cheese spread like his favorite cheez whiz, or pickled eggs, or smoked fish and kippers, his canker sting and throb and hurt like terrible painful amount. "it hurt so much to me" he say. we hate canker! we put fingers in X to canker!

stinky and wife get dressed up, make stinky together, and dream about future

remember stinky and his pretty wife? they get dressed up and make loudish unison stinky sound (wife a little louder) and all while they are dreaming about happy stinky future. see them look to the future? can you almost smell the stinky? ohhh! stinky-man! stinky-wife!

gay homosexual enjoy kissing woman!

this gay homosexual tried kissing woman and liked it!

he have too many drinks at party, and woman say you just not find the right one! try kissing me! i'm changing you!

so gay homosexual man, who is drunk, try kissing woman. and after kiss, he say hey! it not as bad as i thought it would! i'd still rather have a hammond rye sandwich with mustard, but it not so bad.

woman is now buying wedding dress, but man go home to sleep in bed.

woman lost looking for broadway show

this poor woman is so lost you wouldn't believe! she looking for a phantom of the operas show, or the miserable show, or maybe the one with the witches.

but she is not gonna find them. poor woman. go the other way you woman!

hairy man want salve rub

this man has one of the hairiest backs of any alive human in new jersey, united states. he recently got a terrible painful sunburn in florida and now he would like you rub salve all over his hairy back.

please, he say? won't you help me? i say, say no and run away fast like speeding train! hairy back is bad! hairy scary!

husband make stinky, wife look unhappy

the man in this picture has just made terrible nasty stinky in pants. as you can see, his sweet and pretty wife look very unhappy about it. but secret is, wife just made a terrible stinky herself! hooray wife!

the faux hawk is officially dead

the editor of zhuzh it up! have come to conclusions that the faux hawk is dead and it is officially. so stop it. stop it now!